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Strictly Germ Proof

by Arthur Guiterman

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I first heard of this when Robert A. LaBudde quoted a bit of it in a posting to Foodsafe. I made a search and found it. Written around 1910 it seems particularly relevant to some of the current demands for a risk free food supply.

Strictly Germ-Proof by Arthur Guiterman

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gambolled up;
They looked upon the creature with a loathing undisguised;
It wasn't disinfected and it wasn't sterilised.

They said it was microbic and a hotbed of disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as banished hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a hygienic cup--
The Bunny and The Baby and The Prophylactic Pup.

My original source has disappeared, and this copy came from deneb's home page

Guiterman, Arthur. (USA, 1871 Nov 20 - 1943 Jan 11)
Born, of American parentage, at Vienna, Austria, Nov. 20, 1871. Graduated at the College of the City of New York in 1891. Married Vida Lindo, of New York, 1909. Mr. Guiterman did editorial work on the `Woman's Home Companion' and the `Literary Digest' from 1891 to 1906, and published several books of verse, now out of print, before doing those which contain his representative work:
"The Laughing Muse", 1915; "The Mirthful Lyre", 1917; and "Ballads of Old New York", 1920.
While Mr. Guiterman is widely known as a humorous poet, he is also an accomplished poet in other moods.

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